It’s Been Nice Knowing You

But I’m afraid that by the end of next week, I will no longer be among the living. In fact, if my calculations are correct, it might not even take that long for my brain to overheat, explode, and cause immediate death.

It’s finals week.

Which, in real-life terms, translates roughly into a two week period of test after test after test, with little time to eat or sleep, let alone have much fun. If I’m lucky, I’ll squeeze in a quick blog here and there. I may even get a chance to go pee, though I didn’t build bathroom breaks into my schedule. Blogging is more important, y’know.

So here’s what the week looks like for me:

Wednesday – Sociology Test
Thursday – Sociology Test
Friday – Sociology Test
Saturday – Sociology Test

(Is this starting to sound like a bad Bill Murray movie to anyone else?)

Monday – Goverment Exam, Psych Exam, Econ Exam, Government Assignment, Government Discussion Board, Four Government Miniature Quizzes

Wednesday – American Idol Auditions

(If I decide to go)

Thursday – Orthodontist Appointment

(If I don’t panic and decide not to go)

Friday – Government Final

(If I’m still alive by then)

Count ’em, folks. That’s eight exams in the next two weeks. And no, I wasn’t being sarcastic… four of them really ARE in Sociology. There was a slight…issue…with my sociology professor. Lovely guy, really. Nice. Friendly. Scatterbrained.

Because I test in the Office for Students with Disabilities at ACC, my professors are responsible for sending my tests to that office so I can take them. My sociology professor sent the first test. I took it. And then it was a good month and a half before any of the other tests showed up. During that time, I gave up doing the reading because, well, why would I read material I can’t be tested on?

Now I have a week to take the remaining four tests. And I still have to read the book. Which is dry as toast.

Then there are the four chapters of Government… and you KNOW how I feel about government. See my previous, delirium driven post about men named mark who have ears.

And six chapters of Psych. Which will be interesting, at least. But by that time, my brain will have turned to mush and the gremlin minions inside my head will be picketing and refusing to do any more studying.

And, of course, economics. But at least I don’t have to study for that.

Point being: This week is going be about as enjoyable as getting run over by a train.

Stay tuned to see the madness unfold. If you’re lucky, you can watch my brain melt and describe the events systematically for your next science fair project.

What fun!

*Bobs

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