In the Coming Years

I’ve never been big on New Year’s resolutions. The idea of them is nice enough, and I don’t have any trouble making them. But the follow-through is something else entirely. I’ve always thought it had something to do with the wording. It’s alarmingly easy to say that you’re going to “be nicer” to people you don’t like. But what does that actually entail? Not throwing them under a bus? Only sending them one dead rat per week instead of two? And you have to do it in a year. What’s up with that? Some people take a lifetime to love.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that your mind will trick you into believing you’re making progress, if you give it half a chance. This is probably why I always THINK that my papers are well on their way to being written, until I sit down to “finish” them the night before they’re due – and then discover that I’ve really only written about four paragraphs. Tricks and lies, I tell you, from the imp of the mind.

But back to New Year’s.

I think that the principle behind resolutions is a great one. The beginning of a new year is a wonderful time to take stock of where you are in life and what you want. To remind yourself of the goals that you have, and to let go of the things that are holding you back. It’s also a good time to think of your friends and family, and what you hope for them.

I wouldn’t call them resolutions – just reminders. And so…

In the coming years, I hope to continue studying Russian and working towards my goal of fluency. I want to go to grad school, and to work as a TA under Dr. Garza. I want to get my Doctorate degree. I’ll never forgive myself if I don’t do it, and I’m not one for living with regrets that I can prevent.

In the coming years, I hope to find someone to share my life.

In the coming years, I hope to be able to travel, and to visit all of the places I read about. Moscow. Edinburgh. Transylvania. I hope to have adventures.

In the coming years, I would like to write something that people want to read.

In the coming years, I hope for success in our OCD groups – both professionally and personally, for myself, and for others. I hope for progress and peace in everyone who comes to meetings. I hope that our group will be able to reach people who need help, and provide them with that help.

In the coming years, I hope to let go of the fears I have about disappointing people. I hope that, someday, my own decision is enough for me. I want to work towards not letting other people have power over my happiness.

In the coming years, for my friends, I hope for success. I want to see Kelly writing again. Really writing. I want to see Jenny enjoying her job as a nurse, and Una finding a vet clinic where she is really happy. I want to see Dan in college. I want to see Mellie telling anxiety to go to hell. I hope for all of them that they see they have the strength already to do whatever they want to do.

And while it’s good to be nicer to your enemies, in the coming years, I hope to be nicer to my friends. This means I’ll only send them one dead rat per month! It’s a bargain. But really – I’m a bear to be around sometimes. It wouldn’t kill me to go a little easier on people.

No deadlines, no pressure… just some things to think about.

As for tonight? Well, I’ll be dressing like a hooker and going to a party. I did say I wanted adventure, right?




One Comment to “In the Coming Years”

  1. Thanks for this. Any reduction in the transportation of dead rodents is a step in the right direction. 🙂

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